Mom Talk - Getting Your Child Ready For Kindergarten



It's hard for me to believe that one of my "babies" is headed to Kindergarten! Where did the last 5+ years go?

The road to getting my Lil Diva into an actual school has been bumpy but we are excited to have her enrolled in a brand new Charter School - very close to home!  I have been preparing her for the big milestone - going to "big girl" school - for the past year. Both of my Lil Divas attended preschool a few hours a week and although it is costly I feel this has been highly beneficial for their socialization, growth and learning.

This year the Oldest Diva was enrolled in a State Funded Pre-Kindergarten program in her preschool. The program was 5 days a week from 9am to 12pm. Although it is a wonderful program - it is only 3 hours of their day.   Much of my Lil Diva's learning still takes place with me in our home. I believe in grasping our teachable moments.  I know that young minds are sponges and this is the ideal time to encourage their curiosity and awaken their desire and willingness to learn. These things are crucial not only to later successes in learning but life in general.

Being a teacher has helped me quite a bit with this process but I realize not everyone has an education background so I thought it would be great to share a few of the basics/fundamentals that most (if not all) Kindergarten Teachers expect a child to be able to do or know when they start school. Keep in mind things may vary state to state but I believe the basics I am highlighting here are universal.

Mom to 2 Posh Lil Diva's Kindergarten Readiness Checklist:

1. Does your child know their full name? This may seem silly but I have been in Kindergarten classrooms where children do not know their last names. They are expected to know their full names - including middle names if they have one so be sure your child knows theirs. They should also know how to write their own name.

2. Does your child know your telephone number? This is a safety issue - your child should know how to reach you in case of an emergency. Make sure they know a number where someone will likely answer the phone. In this day and age a cell phone number might be the best option, especially if parents work outside the home.

3. Is your child able to sit and listen to a story without interrupting? In Kindergarten children must be able to concentrate on what the teacher is saying, listen and follow simple directions, etc. The best way to prepare children for this is to sit and read with them and encourage them to focus on the story.  This fosters retention and understanding. To encourage them to be able to follow simple commands - practice at home. Give your child simple 2 or 3 step directions such as - pick up the toy from the floor, put it into the toy box and close the lid. This will prepare them for when their teacher asks them to complete work at school.

4. Does your child speak clearly? Strong oral language skills are very important in school. A teacher must be able to understand your child. If you suspect a speech delay or problem it would be wise to address the issue.

5. Is your child independent? While at school your child will be expected to manage bathroom needs independently, fasten and unfasten simple buttons, put on and take off their coats, etc. Encourage this at home so that they feel confident doing these things for themselves  before school starts. Tying shoelaces is NOT expected - this is developmental and many children do not learn this until 1st grade or so. If your child does not know how to tie their own shoes it would be wise to use shoes or sneakers with velcro or straps. It becomes tedious and tiring for a teacer to tie children's shoelaces all day long!

6. Does your child have strong fine-motor skills. A typical day in Kindergarten involves cutting, coloring, pasting, holding a pencil or crayon, etc. Beginning writing depends on these types of skills so be sure to spend some time engaging in these types of activities at home so your child is not frustrated or lagging behind at school.

7. Does Your child have basic letter and number recognition knowledge? Though they are not expected to know all the letters of the alphabet going into Kindergarten, they should know the letters in their name and as many of the other letters as possible. Children are expected to be able to count from at least 1-10 and be able to recognize these numbers as well as know some basic shapes and colors.

8. Does your child have good social skills? Much of Kindergarten involves working and getting along with others. Your child should be able feel comfortable doing this. Help your child refine essential social skills such as turn-taking, sharing, compromising and problem-solving.

9. Is your child eager to learn and curious about the world around them? Children develop at different rates but when a child is eager to learn and not afraid to try somehting new - they will be successful in school. Encourage your child to explore by asking questions, taking trips to zoos and museums, reading different types of books of books from the library, etc. This is the time to awaken and celebrate their curiosity and desire to learn!

10. Does your child show interest in books? If your child tries to "read" a book by telling a story based on the pictures - this is a sign that they are ready to start learning how to read which is part of Kindergarten. If your child does not show much interest in books - try to foster their interest. You can do this by reading to them daily and using fun voices and expressive reading to engage them, asking them questions, inviting them to join in on repetitive parts, and encouraging them to take participate in any active/action parts of the story.

*****

If you read through the above checklist and answered yes to all of the questions then your child is at a wonderful readiness level for Kindergarten! Continue to do what you are doing because you are on the right path.

If you answered no to a few of the questions, then now you know what you can spend some time focusing on. Please know this should not be a burden. Make it fun and you will both benefit from the experience.

If you answered no to most of the above questions then I suggest you look closely at your child's situation and possibly discuss it with your doctor or preschool teacher if your child has one. If developmental delays are suspected - it is important to seek out the necessary help.

I hope that you find my little list useful. By no means am I suggesting I am an expert but after 12+ years of teaching you learn a thing or two. I am merely passing my learned tidbits on to you in the hopes that it will help you and your child have a successful transition into Kindergarten.



Bern
This is a repost but I think it is an important topic especially with summer coming to an end and school just around the corner!

Mom Confession - When is it Time to Ditch the Baby Monitor?

My Lil Divas are 5 and almost 4 and I still turn on the baby monitor every single night!

The last 2 nights it has really interfered with my sleep - picking up the sounds of Lil Diva snoring. I am a horribly light sleeper and I am thinking it's time to shut it off but just thinking about it made me feel panicked.

What if they need me and I can't hear them calling for me? Our rooms are fairly close together and on the same floor of the house but we close all the bedroom doors at night because the hubby gets up at 5am to go to work and I do not want them waking up at that hour because they hear him moving around downstairs.

I know you are sitting there probably thinking to yourself - they are old enough to come get you if they really need you! That makes perfect sense, I am just not sure it would work for my Lil Divas. My oldest is afraid of the dark and still wakes up some nights calling for me. She WILL NOT get out of bed and make the walk to my room in a dark house. She will scream until someone comes - waking up her sister who sleeps in the same room and everyone else in the house. The monitor lets me hear her quickly so that I can keep her from bellowing loud enough to wake her sister (and the neighbors).

Her night screams do not happen often but they do still occur and it's the main reason I have kept the monitor on this long. The other reason -

What if they are sick? There have been times when I have been alerted by the monitor that something was wrong that I am almost sure I would not have heard otherwise. My youngest has allergies and asthma and has woken up coughing and having difficulty breathing in the middle of the night. I was able to get to her quickly because I heard it via the monitor.

Does anyone else have this co-dependent relationship with their baby monitor? I can sit here all day coming up with more scenarios and rationalizing my continued use of it without any babies in the house but really the bottom line is that I'm just scared. Scared that I will fall into such noise free blissful sleep for the first time in over 5 years that I will not hear them if they did need me. That worries me.

When I worry, I can't sleep! So actually if I turned it off - I probably still wouldn't be able to sleep. I'd be too busy fine tuning my super sonic mom hearing all night to be sure everything was ok to actually get any sleep, lol!

What if I promise to turn it off before they hit the teenage years? Then again, a hidden baby monitor in a teenage girls room might be pretty awesome! :)

So help me out here mommys& daddys - when did you turn off your baby monitors for good?

Am I just being an over-protective mom or is this normal? (Someone please tell me I'm not that crazy, lol!)

Bern

I Wish It Would Last Forever!

Tonight as I was getting my oldest Lil Diva ready for bed she looked at me and said "Mommy, do you know I wouldn't trade you for any other mommy in the whole world because you are the best one and I love you!"

They melt my heart when they say things like this - especially when it comes out of nowhere like that. She may be just 5 years old but I think somewhere in there she knew that Mommy needs a lil pat on the back every now and then too.

Now, if only it were possible to store it up and keep some of it for later? I'm sure I'll need a bit of that untainted love during the teenage years when I am no longer the best mommy in the whole world.

Until then, I will savor these moments. I will drink them in, relish them and celebrate how wonderful I am (on some days, lol!) in the eyes of my babies! For even though I make mistakes and stumble along the way in this adventure called motherhood - there are obviously a few things I must be doing right & that my friends makes my heart happy! :)

Bern

I Am NOT Perfect

There are moments when you are forced to really take a look at yourself or for a moment see yourself  through another's eyes (in this case my husband).  I had such a moment today and it left me shaken by how utterly unperfect I am. It's funny how a few words can do that to you. Why did it shake me to my very core? Because, in all honesty I try to do my best. I try to make everyone happy. I try to be there for my family - to fulfill their needs and yes, even their wants. So it hurts when you are hit with such undeniable failure at the very thing that you strive for. 

It made me think about all my shortcomings and I am saddened by how long the list is.

1. I am NOT a perfect mother. There are so many ways in which I fail on a daily basis at being a mom that I can only hope and pray that the good far outweighs the bad.  That when my girls are grown and look back at their childhood they will remember it fondly and forgive my many failures and shortcomings. That they will not hold against me the many times I became frustrated or angry and yelled (way more often than I care to admit). I hope they don't dwell on all the times I was too busy (or simply did not want to) play. I hope they do not recall all the things that were said in frustration that I later wish I hadn't said. I hope they never realize the moments when I was longing for peace and quiet and some time alone when all they wanted was to be with me because above all things I may not be a perfect mom but I love them fiercely . Even on my worst days I wouldn't give up being being their mom for a second.  I wouldn't trade all the joy and love that it has brought into my life. I can only hope that above all my imperfections and mistakes, they can feel my love and may that be what they recall when they think of me.

2. I am NOT a perfect wife. I do not rush to greet my husband after a long day of work. Rather, I often forget to even ask him about his day as I struggle to make dinner or fight with my girls to eat. My husband works alot and many times we speak more on the phone than in person. Yet, I do not drop everything when he is home. I often take for granted that he is an adult and will understand that there are other things I need or even want to do. As a mom - we do not get time to ourselves until everyone is asleep. I can be selfish about this time.  It's unfair. I know that. Yet, I also need that time to simply unwind. Time where I am not catering to anyone else's needs - I do that all day.  It's exhausting. I know he feels that I put his needs last but that is not my intention. I just need some time where I put me first for a change. It seems that somewhere along the way of becoming a wife and mother - being just "me" has gotten lost. I have not figured out a way to balance everything. While my husband may feel that I put him last - I feel like I am overlooked. I am not a perfect wife but I love my husband. Marriage isn't easy, and being married with children is downright hard. I by no means have it figured out and I honestly wonder if I'll ever get it right.

3. I am NOT a perfect daughter. I love my parents deeply. Since becoming a mom I see things through a different set of eyes. My parents were not perfect but I accept that they did their best. They were married young and I honestly don't know how they did it all.  They worked hard to give my brother and I good experiences growing up. They tried to make us happy . They were strict - but I always knew they loved me. Yet, days (and sometimes weeks) go by and I get caught up with my life and I do not reach out. Then, I will get a call and they will remind me that I have fallen short & I feel guilty. It's so easy to get wrapped up in my own everyday and forget about everyone else but I don't want to be that daughter. I think about a time when I will not be my daughters' world and it pains me. It pains me to think that one day they will feel too busy to simply call and say hello. I hate that I am that daughter to my own parents. I hope they always know how much I love them even when I fail to show it.

4. I am NOT a perfect sister. My brother lives close by and there are sometimes many weeks when we do not see each other or even speak to each other aside from the occasional text. It's sad because we grew up in such a close knit family. We were always surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. I want my girls to know what that feels like. I love my niece and I want for her and my girls to grow up as close as my cousins did. I am failing miserably at it and it makes me sad. I have such a deep bond with my own aunts that I always dreamed I would be the same way when I became an aunt. I'm not.

5. I am NOT a perfect friend. I am the friend that rarely calls, returns calls, etc. I wasn't always that way. I used to be the friend that everyone turned to because they knew I would listen no matter what. Now, I find that I am the last to know things, the one least turned to. It hurts but I can only blame myself.

I find that wearing so many hats is hard. Being everything to everyone is impossible and I am quite obviously  falling short in all areas. How do we find that magical balance that keeps everyone happy? How do we find a way to be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend? How do we find a way to keep everyone happy and still find time for ourselves in all of this? I really wish I knew because right now I feel like I am not making anyone happy and it's a hard pill to swallow.

Bern

Beat the Winter Blues: Fun Ways to Battle BLAH Days with Kids

Living in FL we don't have to battle the SNOW but having lived in NY for over 22 years I know what it's like! It's not always easy to get outdoors with little ones so here are a few easy and fun ways to have FUN at home.

1. Kids love MESS! Go ahead and whip out the paints/art supplies and let them create and get messy! Better yet - join in on the fun! You'll see how quickly the time passes while you create and share giggles.

2. Too cold to enjoy the snow outside? Bring some inside (or use insta-snow), put on some mittens and enjoy some snowy fun in the warmth of your own home! How can you beat that?

3. Pump up the Volume & DANCE, DANCE, DANCE! Kids love to boogie but it's even more fun when mom/dad join in! So go ahead and put on those dancing shoes & get jiggy with it! :)

4. Bake - Let the kids join you in the kitchen to create a yummy treat. It's a great way to teach important skills like pouring, measuring and following directions. Plus, you end up with a yummy reward for all that hard work!

5. Play! Break out the toys, board games, dress-up clothes, etc and just have FUN together. For kids, there is nothing better than time spent with you and the memories you create will last a lifetime.

Have Fun,
Bern

Where's My Hazmat Suit?

I am in dire need of a hazmat suit, STAT!
My home has been contaminated. It is toxic.

The Lil Diva brought the germs home last week - most likely from Pre-School!

She catches EVERYTHING! She was out of school for a week.

Poor thing you say! How about poor ME? This Mama is exhausted.

Of course now that she is FINALLY recovering - she has contaminated her poor sister and so the viscious cycle begins anew with no end in sight.

YAY - even more sleepless nights & cranky Divas! This is surely my idea of a good time, right?

WRONG! I am begining to unravel! I am TIRED of runny noses, coughs that interrupt my sleep all night, fever and vomiting and CRANKINESS!

Oh the crankiness! I can so do without the cranky in my day!

Frankly, the whole thing is making me well.......cranky (just ask the poor hubby!) :(

To make things even better - the hubby is now infected too! YES, I kid you not! They ALL have it!

See why I need the Hazmat Suit! The Nasty & Horrible GERMS have obviously taken over my home!

It's either the Hazmat Suit or ..........run for the hills and leave the cranky sickies to fend for themselves.

After the day I had today, that is beginning to look like the better option afterall! :)

What? You're shocked I said that or at least admitted it for all the world to see? Well, in my defense I never claimed to be perfect! I am not a Super Woman or a Super Mom. I am just ME trying to do the best that I can on a daily basis.

Today, it felt like a losing battle. Today, it felt like what I had left to give was not enough. Today I feel tired and spent!

I LOVE my family, both in sickness and in health but after the week I have endured I could go for some healthy right about now & this Mama is not ashamed to admit it!

Bern - BTW, I made 500 (followers!) Wow & YEAH!!!!

P.S. Don't forget to enter My

Lil Diva Birthday Review & Giveaway Extravaganza <---click

Giveaways going on now for:

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PetCakes -Adorable Plush Toys

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Helping Children Cope with Grief

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post. My BFF just experienced the loss of her father-n-law today. Loss is always difficult but I find it's that much harder to cope with when it is sudden and unexpected.

My BFF has 2 wonderful daughters ( ages 4 & 3) whom she must now explain to that their grandfather is no longer physically with them. How do you do that?

To a child the idea of death is usually seen as temporary and reversible. Think of all the movies and cartoons out there today. My Lil Divas play "dead" all the time by sleeping and then being awakened by some sort of magic. How do you help them understand that death is constant. Their grandfather is not just sleeping, he is going to be asleep forever and they will never see him again.

I thought about this a lot today. A LOT!

A child's grief is complicated. Loss and death rarely make sense to us adults - how can it make sense to a child?

My heart is pained for my best friend and her family. Not only do they have to deal with their own individual sense of loss and grief but they have to find a way to explain this all to these little girls - forever changing the innocent way in which they view this world. This will be no easy task.

I can only imagine that the best way to help a child this age understand what has happened is to be as honest, simple and straightforward as possible. They are too young to fully grasp the concept of death and will most likely need to be reminded of what it will mean in terms they can understand.

Being a spiritual family, I am sure she will explain that their grandfather is now in heaven (another difficult concept) and that he is no longer physically here with them. They will need that concrete reminder.

I think the best thing the family can do right now is simply provide affection and nurturing and allow the girls to freely ask questions and express themselves. For a young child who has never experienced death, this is all new and confusing. They won't really know what to expect or how to act. It would be wise to be prepared for regressive or acting out behaviors, indifference or even denial. Don't we adults behave much the same way when faced with grief and loss?

It's going to be a long and hard road.

If you belive in the power of prayer - I ask that you pray for this family during their difficult time.

If you believe in the power of positive vibes - I ask that you please send some their way.

If you have experience in deaing with children and grief - please share your thoughts and ideas! Help is welcome and I will be sure to pass it along.

Thank you for letting me unburden my heart and mind with you tonight.
Bern

Tantrums, Troubles & Tribulations

We just spent the last few days on a mini family getaway to Universal Studios! We had lots of fun but we also had tantrums & meltdowns! While I know this is normal (I saw lots of it going on around the park) - it is still hard to deal with.

To be honest, tantrums and meltdown have been running rampant in my house recently. Most of them come from my almost 5 yr. old. I honestly thought we were past that phase with her. She had been doing so great then about 2 months ago - the tantrums and meltdowns came back full force.

Dealing with them is a work in progress.  I am trying to teach her to control her emotions and use her words instead of just giving in to tears and yells. I am also working on my own reactions to them.

As I said, I know we are not the only ones dealing with this issue so I have decided to share our trials and tribulations with you. I am hoping we can help some parents out there and maybe some can help us in return!

When I realized the tantrums were at an all time high and that I was being pulled in and reacting to them - I knew we were in trouble. I had to step back and take stock of the situation because quite frankly the way I was handling things was NOT working!

1. I knew I had to figure out what was causing the tantrums. Quite simply, I had to understand the problem before I could begin to find an appropriate solution.

In our case there are a few factors that contribute to the tantrums.

a.) The Lil Diva has begun to give up her afternoon nap. She fights me when I tell her to lay down and will stay in her bed awake and playing. She thinks she doesn't need the nap but I can tell you that she does. By about 5pm she is cranky, tired and well out of sorts. So of course any little thing that doesn't go her way - leads to a meltdown. I know she is overtired and at this point she simply can't deal with anything.

b.) The Lil Diva is getting older and she wants to be treated like a big girl yet she is still just a lil girl in many respects. This is a conflict. She wants me to treat her like a big girl and is proud of being able to do things for herself but then she sees me do things for her lil sister and she wants that too. She will act like a baby - i.e. want me to feed her, talk in a baby voice, etc. I realize that she needs some "mommy" time just for herself. They both do. I have been trying to ensure they both get that so that sharing me isn't so hard.

c.) The Lil Diva gets very frustrated with her younger sister who wants to be like her big sis so much that she causes nothing but trouble. She wants to do everything her sister does, wants to play with whatever she is playing with, etc... I have been working with my youngest daughter on this but it's been a hard road. She simply doesn't understand that her big sister needs her own space and things sometimes. That is for another day and another post, lol!

2. Once I realized where the tantrums were stemming from I had to decide on a course of action that would work for both of us.

This has by far been the hardest part! Though I am not an expert, I am a mom and a teacher and I am pulling my resources from those 2 aspects in dealing with the tanrum situation in my house. Here I will share my stratgey with you in the hope that we can all help each other tackle this problem.

a. Stay Calm! I knew I wasn't handling things well because I was getting beyond frustrated by the frequency of the tantrums and reacting in anger which just seemed to escalate things. I have since realized that my anger and anxiety was reinforcing the behavior I wanted to eliminate. When I remain calm things go much smoother and the tantrums do not last as long. This has required work on my part but I find that reminding myself of the reason for the meltdown has really helped me. i.e. She did not nap after a long day so she is tired and she has been working hard on the picture she is coloring so when little sister passed by and hit her arm accidently and it messed up the drawing - it threw her into a tailspin! It's important to remember that these little things are BIG things to them!

b.) Do Not Engage! Trying to reason with a screaming and crying child is simply wasted time and energy! They can not hear you! They can not process what you are saying! Yes, you need to discuss what happened but pick the time appropriately - wait until the calm after the storm. You get much better results that way.

c.) Get the child alone and in a quiet/safe place - Yes, this means I have abandoned shopping carts and gone to the bathroom or even my car while eating out. A screaming child in a public place is no one's idea of a good time but the commotion really does make things worse. They know people are looking, you know people are looking and things go quickly from bad to worse.

d.) Get down to eye level - Once in a quiet place, away from all the other eyes, get down to their level! When I force the Lil Diva to look at me and acknowledge me - wonder of wonders, she forgets to scream so loud!

e.) Encourage Alternative Behavior/Self-Control - Once she is calmer, I can then acknowledge that she is upset and remind her it's best to use her words to tell me what's wrong or what she is feeling so that I can help her. I remind her that I can not understand her when she is screaming and carrying on and that I simply will not listen. Without an audience - tantrums do tend to die down (for the most part!)

f.) Discuss what happened when everyone is calm - take the time to hear them out - that is what the tantrum was about afterall! They wanted to be heard about something. Of course this does not mean they get their way if they wanted something you said no to but you can come up with alternatives that work for both of you. 

g.) Explain the Consequences of such Behavior - In order to eliminate tantrums kids have to know they are not acceptable and they can not be used to get what they want. I do not give in to tantrums.

Both my Lil Divas know that if they continue to scream and holler after I have tried to calm them down and talk to them - I will walk away and not entertain it. They have to sit in a brief "Time Out" away from me and everyone else.  I do not return until they have collected themsleves and are calm and are ready to talk to me.

I also do not give in to something I have said no to simply because they have thrown a tantrum. I explain the reason I said no - maybe it's almost dinner time and not the appropriate time for a snack or we are getting ready to head out to school and they don't have time to take out a toy and play. I can offer reasonable alternatives such as playing the game after school or eating the snack after dinner if they have eaten all their food.

h.) Anticipate Beahvior & Set Expectations for Behavior Before You Go Out - I always remind my girls of what I expect from them before we head out! Whether it's quiet voices in the library, staying near me at the store, listening when I say it's time to head home from a playdate, etc... We go over what they should do and I remind them that if they do not cooperate they will miss out on my next trip to the library, store or an upcoming playdate. If the need arises I remind them of what we discussed and agreed upon before heading out and what they will lose if they do not cooperate.

i.) Notice and Compliment Appropriate Behavior - It's easy to focus on the "bad" behavior but it is so important to put a spotlight on appropriate/good behavior to encourage and foster them in our kids!

On top of verbal reinforcements I have a marble jar for each of my girls at home. They earn marbles for jobs well done, whether it's sharing with each other, tidying up after playing without reminders, doing a helpful task at home, or anything that we might be working on that I see them put real effort into. Once they earn a set amount of marbles they get to pick a treat as a way to say "job well done". I have little odds and ends that I collect on sale, etc that I keep stashed away just for this purpose. This serves 2 purposes for me. It gives them something tangible to strive for while it also reinforces the behaviors I want/expect. This helps me because the more they do something appropriate the more it becomes learned/conditioned until it's just part of how they react - which is what I want to reinforce.

j.) Don't beat yourself up - I found myself feeling dejected when dealing with these tantrums. What was I doing wrong? Am I not a good parent? Well, I knew I could be handling things better but I am a good parent. Am I perfect? No, but who is? If you know please point me in their direction! We all make mistakes - we are flawed and we are human. In the end I realized that beating myself up for the tantrums was not helping! That was when I resolved to stop, think things through and do something to change the situation!


So that brings me to this point - where I am giving you a sneak peek into our lives and sharing my journey with you!

Are our tanrums over? NO! I told you at the onset of this post that it's a work in progress.

Do I have all the answers - Heck, NO! I forwarned you that I am NOT an EXPERT - this is simply 1 mom sharing what is working for me and my Lil Divas with other parents.

To be honest, this is not a quick fix kind of problem. It takes time, patience, understanding and growing for all parties involved to deal with tanrums.

I can tell you that since employing the above methods - the frequency, length and severity of our tantrums has really improved!  We are taking steps in the right direction and for that I am very grateful. There is light at the end of the tantrum tunnel - I can see it now, can you?

Do you have tantrum troubles at your house?

What tactics do you employ to deal with them?

Bern

Keeping the Thank You Card Tradition Alive in Children

The holiday season is over and though a bit later than I had intended, the Lil Divas and I recently sat down and penned a Thank You Note to friends and family for the generous gifts they received.

In a time where e-mails and texts are the main form of communication I think this is a wonderful way for the Lil Divas to intimately express their gratitude and do it in their own way.

I used to send Thank You Notes or them when they were babies and slowly began allowing them to help and be part of the process as they got older. They began by holding the crayon with me as I write their name, then adding their own scribbles once they could hold a crayon or pen on their own. This was followed by the addition of their own "drawing" to my letter and then eventually to the signing of their name as they were able to write it on their own.

This year the Oldest Diva (almost 5) knows how to write all her letters so I knew she could write a basic note for herself. I spelled out the words T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U for her and she wrote them and then she added a picture of a horse (horses are her current obsession). When I told her to sign her name she told me she wanted to write I Love You so I helped her spell it and she finished by signing her name to her note. She was so proud of having done it by herself!

The Littlest Diva who is 3.5, and still learning to write her letters, was not to be outdone by her big sister. She mader her picture and then set about writing the same things on her card (with my help for a few letters). I was so proud of her desire to do it for herself!

I only had them make the 1 card not to overload them. I will make color copies of it and include a special picture for each person of the girls with the gift that was sent to them. As they get older I will have them write individualized notes but for now I wanted to keep it appropriate to their level and not turn it into a "chore". I wanted them to have fun with it and really take the time to express themselves - and they did!

It may not seem like much but I hope that by taking the time to do this after holidays and birthdays it will instill in them the importance of demonstrating our apprecaition to others for their generosity. After all, I always remind them to say "please" and "thank you" and I want them to know that it extends beyond when they are asking someone for a favor.

Didn't they do a great job?

Bern

Lil Diva Update - Pt 2 of Mommy Heartbreak & Being the World's Worst Mom

I spent 40 minutes this morning trying to not only convince the Lil Diva to stay at school but basically prying her off me. Everytime I got one piece of clothing or limb free from her death grip she would grab hold of another! I was feeling beyond heartbroken. This morning's ordeal reduced me to tears when I finally made it back into my car alone!

I just do not understand what is going on with her. For those that might not know what I am referring to, here is yesterday's ordeal! She was fine after awhile - a volunteer mom snapped a pic on her phone and sent it to me of her playing with her friends. So why the incredible drama at drop off?

I truly felt emotionally drained - the girl knows just what to say and do to pull on those heart strings. Who could walk away from their baby screaming "Mommy I just want to hug you" or "Mommy I want you ,please don't leave me" or "I need you Mommy, I need you!"

The thing is, that if this were my oldest Diva - I wouldn't be suprised. She tends to do these types of things every now and then. She gets clingy and attached and won't want to be seperated from me or her dad. But my baby girl has never acted this way. She might need some extra hugs and kisses but she has never had a meltdown of this magnitude at mere separation from me.

A part of me feels honored - this must mean she loves being with me right! :)

Yet, what I feel the most is sad. Sad my baby girl has to hurt this way - even if it's for an hour or less until she calms down enough to enjoy the rest of her morning at school.

Sad that I have to walk away when she wants me to stay. Sad that I have to walk away when I want to stay.

Sad that I have to walk away in order for my baby girl to learn that no matter what - mommy will always come back.

Sad that I have to walk away so that my baby girl can become a confident and independent big girl someday.

Sad that I have to be the world's worst mom in order to be a good mom.

I sincerely hope and pray that tomorrow is better - being the world's worst mom is emotionally draining.

Bern

Sowing the Seeds of Charity

It's the holidays - Tis the season of gifts, shopping and frenzy! Way too often we get caught up in the madness and forget to think about those who are less fortunate and will not have a tree full of gifts on Christmas morning. My lil divas are beyond spoiled between my husband, myself and the rest of the family! The amount of presents they receive is obscene. They may be young but it's never to early to teach them to think of others and to be charitable! So we had a long talk about how not all children are as lucky as they are to have everything they both need and want. I asked them if they would like to get a few things for a little girl their age who would be very happy to receive presents. They were quite enthusistic about it so off we went to Target to shop for someone else for a change!

They had no trouble picking things out (they are excellent shoppers, lol!) but putting it into the box was a different story. They had difficult time parting with the items and I kept having to remind them of how much this little girl who would receive this box needed these items and how happy she would be to get it. They kept asking me who she was, the concept of an unknown  person in need is hard for a 3 & 4 yr. old to grasp! We managed to fill the boxes (while not going broke in the process) and headed home to prepare them.

Once we laid everything out to begin packing, the real difficulty began! The lil divas wanted to open the toys they had picked! I reminded them (again) these toys weren't for them, but instead we were giving them to someone else as a special Christmas surprise. I told them we were being Santa's special helpers and that both he & I were very proud of them for being so generous and thoughtful. In the end, they packed those boxes with such care and obvious good intentions that my heart was overflowing! In their own way, they got it!

I know this was a difficult task for my lil divas and I am proud of them for being able to move past their immediate wants and actually do something for someone else. Together we planted a seed that we can nurture and grow. I plan to do more of these types of things with them now that they can begin to understand what it means and why it should be done. I want them to grow up knowing how fortunate they are and not only appreciate what they have but to also be charitable towards others. We have taken our first steps in that direction and I am proud of their efforts! Little kids with big hearts can make a difference in our world and I want my lil divas to know that!